********************************************Tony, I've been pulled up by the head of my previous Buddhist Community (who is also head door-knocking fundraiser). He's telling me I've made an error in getting into an argument with you over door-knocking as a strategy & that I'd do better to empathise with you first.No wonder I was having such a hard-time getting you to say yes to coming to the training on the 29th when I phoned you this evening (until my battery gave way).Hi Paul,Thanks for copying me in on this, might I suggest that hear Tony's concern first, he wants to protect his and other reputation he also wants to respect people's privacy. Empathy first!I hope this comment is welcome.mettaJayarajaOn 29 Sep 2011, at 16:30, Paul Crosland wrote:Dear Tony & all prejudiced about the secret (lost) art of meeting our neighbours by ACTUALLY KNOCKING ON THEIR DOORS,Re your comment below; that door knocking will ruin the reputation of "Hastings 4 Happiness" or whatever we're called, that all depends on how it is done. The Karuna Trust, for whom I worked for 7 months before moving here does not have this REPUTATION, though it does encounter this PREJUDICE.The door-knocking work, as I see it is about often encountering three things that block our connection: PRIVACY, PREJUDICE & FEAR. These three are met, at best, with COURAGE, COMPASSION & CONNECTION.The local Action for Happiness brand will court controversy for door-knocking, controversy fuels publicity. Ultimately, the quality of the team determines the reputation.I deeply value your cynicism Tony and really want you there for the 29th Oct Training, if you can make it.No obligation to knock real doors, just a willingness to engage with others who were at Maria Arpa's training & who will stand/sit (as we all do) behind imaginary doors.If you'll come, please either check your cynicism at the door or bring it in lock, stock & two smoking barrels. Either is fine with me, especially now you've discovered a third gear thanks to Maria's training, as you spoke about in the film clip on this page (you spoke second when Mark was here if you struggle to find it in this much liked 45 minute fly on the wall film of our 16th Sept meeting with Mark Williamson);http://actionforhastingshappiness.blogspot.com/p/national-importance-of-hastings-and-st.htmlKind regardsPaul(Co-ordinator of the "St Leonards Sharing" Consortium : www.stleonardssharing.info)(Co-ordinator of "Hastings & St Leonards Action for Happiness":0780 70 66 202 -phone calls often preferred to emails -for connection, clarity and making plans cooperatively.(Does your local wellbeing group support your personal happiness, your inter-personal sharing, and the wellbeing of all? http://local-well-being-group.blogspot.com/)*************************Life's short; compose your quarrels. (from The Dhammapada)
Saturday, 1 October 2011
29th October training 1st draft programme
Dear all who may be expecting my most esteemed door-knocking friend and colleague Jayaraja to be leading the training on 29th October; I haven't found a budget for this -though I have asked for one:-)
Jayaraja is still welcome to lead this day instead -which will be very different then from the programme below, as Jayaraja would then control it.
I drew up the programme below the other night, and since then I've decided to add in a 9.30am 'open for tea' slot and a 9.45am slideshow of the difference that I managed to make in India (in a town called Amravati) thanks to my door-knocking in London for 6 months of the last year.
More about this in my autobiographical blog: http://imperfectidealist.blogspot.com (or is it http://theimperfectidealist.blogspot.com ?)
NB Request: Please send me addresses of your autobiographical blogs, and if you don't have one, please TIMEBANK contract with me to run a session for an hour with you that will hopefully get you up and running with this. Your lives really matter and not just because you are now my friends!; reflecting on them and laughing at yourselfs -kindly- is highly recommended.)
OFFICIAL 1st Draft Programme:
10am Introductions & a round of what each of us want from the day and what we don't want.
10.15am One of Jayaraja's energiser games from his book.
10.30 Paul's latest grand theory: That one of the biggest problems in society is that people don't ask enough of each other, or to put it another way, they do not know how to make clear, NVC requests. IF people made clear NVC requests much more clarity and 'progress' would happen.
THUS, our task as trainees in non-violence is to help draw out the implicit requests in others actions eg what is the request and the need when someone says 'Fuck Off' to a door-knocker?
10.45am This isn't door-knocking training as much as getting in touch with Courage, Compassion & Connection & handling our own sense of rejection and perfectionism (fear).
11am What do you want more of from your neighbours?
11.15am An hour to make a booklet asking for it -access to internet, printers, laminators, coloured paper and pens etc
12.15am A game to get to know each other better -favourite films, books or peope?
12.30 Where do you stand on a grid with these two axis:
Wanting to be liked-Wanting to be Right;
I don't appreciate negative feedback given face-to-face-I appreciate 'Negative Feedback Face to Face' (& what are the up-sides and down-sides of each position eg mine is I like to be right and I appreciate negative feedback -downsides are loneliness and some of the shit thrown sticks on my self-hating self-image)
12.45 A story of how I built a relationship with a benefactor, who basically funded me and my projects for a year. ETHICAL IMPLICATIONS & what that relationship is like now the money has dried up?
2pm Tony Arrives to be himself
2.10pm We draw straws to see who gets to knock on Tony's door first (each bringing our booklet to leave with him to read)
-These attempts at connection with you are interspersed with your having quiet time to read the booklets before the mock-up return visits; we all debrief each other about what we did so terribly Jehovah Witness like in talking to you and how much SHAME we feel
3.30pm Closing round and requests for door-knocking teams (if any), for more joint work on booklets (if wanted) or more training (if wanted) on the applications of nonviolent communication to social change.
NB This draft programme was first posted to the following people in an email dated 30 September 2011 00:42:08 GMT+01:00 Tony, actionforhappiness[at]mediationsupport.info, Jayaraja, Paul Baker, which began: